I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
