Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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