All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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