Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
