you guys were way drunker than both of me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
