I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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