I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize