I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
