i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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