6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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