i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
