just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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