I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize