watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
