Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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