I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
