he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
