she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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