That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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