my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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