Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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