i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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