Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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