I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
