Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize