i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
