we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
