She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
