when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
