either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize