her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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