And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
