Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
