im drinking this country out of the recession.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
