Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
