he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
