I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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