Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
