Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize