just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
