you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize