if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize