I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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