They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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