I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize