Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
