They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
