also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
