Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
