Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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