Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So many bounce houses so little time
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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