I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
