Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
