and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
