homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
