Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
