so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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