Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
