if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
