Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
