You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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