I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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