During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
