he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
