I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
