I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
