Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
