May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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