we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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