It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
