Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
