Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
