Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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