I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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