Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
