I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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