1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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