I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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